Sewing and Horror Movies: part 2

Acting! And also my face while watching this movie.

As the spooky season begins, the trees shed their leaves and coat the ground with their discarded flesh... Too much? Maybe a little too heavy on the scary visuals. Nonetheless, it's October and I have watched many horror / thriller movies on Netflix. I've pretty well made my way through their long list and now have a few more to review. Not all of these movies are worth watching and I hope to save your eyeballs from having to see them.

First on the list in this edition of " Kasey watches a lot of Netflix while she sews" is American Poltergeist 2. My first note on this movie is " Who the hell wrote this movie?" So already they are off to a good start. The acting is horrible and not in a funny enjoyable way. The dialogue feels very unnatural and I'm pretty sure they recorded it separately. As though someone off camera was holding the script and the actors just read things out loud. There's definitely some weird editing in this movie. I basically couldn't even watch the whole thing. It was THAT BAD and I've seen some bad movies. I can't remember if I've seen the first one in this series, if I did then I must have blocked it out of my mind. I rate this hunk of junk 2/10. It's worth watching just to see the weird dialogue and editing.

Up next, Friend Request. I thought this would be a horrible movie but it was kind of enjoyable. There are more horror movies coming out now that incorporate technology and social media. Which is basically to reach out to a new generation. I don't remember there being a movie where pagers somehow kill people though. Have I revealed my ancientness yet? Anyhow, Friend Request is basically a Facebook horror movie about a sad girl that wants to make friends and a popular girl that has way too many. It's even got hackers! I mean, you can probably fill in the blanks from there. Put this movie on in the background, not sure it's worth sitting down for. Just hover over a chair to watch this, don't commit to sitting until you're sure you want to watch an hour and thirty two minutes of trying to delete a Facebook profile. I rate this new age spookums 5/10. It was a mildly entertaining horror movie for tweens.

Next up, Babadook. I really didn't like this movie. I know I didn't like it because I was cheering for the kid to die. It's a horrible thing to say but have you watched this movie and seen this kid? The tantrum in the car alone! Granted the kid had a cool weapon.

Anyhow, this movie is about a random book that just shows up in their house. No worries, let's read it! I'm sure it's just about puppies and Springtime. The book has some creepy story about what basically is a Boogeyman to some cultures. Stuff happens, mother goes nuts, their house looks like it's never been lived in and everything is gray. That sums the movie up fairly well. It was frustrating to watch this movie. If the kid is meant to be the most irritating person in this movie then it's a job well done.

I rate it 4/10 It wasn't spooky. The scariest part was the mold behind the fridge. Now had they made the whole movie about that would have terrified me.

Next on the list, I Spit On Your Grave 1 & 2. OH BOY! A double review! Here's what I have to say about rape/revenge movies: Why? Why do they think the movie is better if the rape scenes are a third of the movie. I get that it's a genre but it's totally unnecessary for a rape scene to go on forever. We get the point in like a minute. The first movie was very rape heavy and the revenge portion was a little too Rube Goldberg machine. There's no way this lady who was violently raped, hiding in the woods for months and living on rat meat would be able to gather all the supplies needed to build her torture room. So that's the first movie in the series. Then they made a second one with a girl who looks nearly identical to the first actress. Different location, different plot but nonetheless the same movie. I'm wondering if the director of I Spit On Your Grave 2 read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and thought " I can make this worse!" Honestly, this genre of movie isn't my favorite. I understand the prolonged rape scenes are meant to make the viewer uncomfortable, I just don't see the point of having them that long. A lot can be said in a movie without having to show it.

I skipped over a lot in the second movie and I missed nothing in the plot. I rate this movie 2/10 for both.

Lastly, Delirium. Eric Foreman is crazy! It's hard to disconnect the actor from the character he played on That 70s Show but when you do... you can't. He will forever be that guy! So Topher Grace is in a spooky movie. I did really like his character in American Ultra but we're not talking about that one today. Anyways, I've watched Delirium twice now. I needed a refresher so that I could write a review. I liked the movie but it could have been so much more. They slowly piece this story with home videos, creepy two way mirrors in the house and a sprinkle of other characters. Basically, if they were to remake Risky Business with Tom Cruise now, it would be this movie. Crazy dude in a mansion that thinks he's seeing things and there's a love interest. Of course there would be! And no it's not Donna! Oh and somewhere in this creepy mansion there's a vault with money. The rest is for you to watch. Despite the weird roundabout plot line that eventually gets a bit more focused at the end it was a decent watch. I rate it 5/10 It's watchable but you'll never unsee Eric Foreman.

And that concludes round 2 of my horror movie reviews. Hope you enjoyed reading it!

-Kasey